The Night After
by Piggwidgeon
Summary: Luna deals with the fact that she's changed because of the Battle of Hogwarts and the uncertainty she has around it. One shot.


Disclaimer:I do not own it.

Luna stared at the dark sky, the pinpricks of light making their way through the expanse of space solidifying her existence, the moon overhead lighting up the grounds around her.

For the first time in her life, she looked around her. Really looked around her. For the first time, she didn't see little creatures manipulating those around her. For the first time, she didn't think of invisible creatures running through the grass. For the first time, she felt like she understood. Like she was really alive. Like she belonged.

She was afraid. Really, genuinely, honestly afraid. She wrapped her arms around herself and stared at the grass. Her heart pounded against her chest. Where they really dead? She didn't know. Was she really safe? She didn't know. Were there more people to die? She didn't know. Where was she going to go? She didn't know.

Her hand put her wand in her pocket. They pulled the radish earrings off of her lobes. They untwisted the bottle cap necklace from her throat. They dropped the Quibbler to the ground. Those things weren't worth anything. The only thing that mattered was the people around her, the other survivors.

Neville and Seamus were dragging a body between them. The Creevy boy. He had always looked at her like a person, like Ginny had. Both of the older students looked like they were holding back tears. A part of her knew they were. A part of her knew she was.

Hagrid's massive form carried boulders to a pile at the center of the field, remnants of the Gryffindor Tower, a monument to those dead and injured. He was sobbing shamelessly.

The Great Hall was abuzz with activity. She should go there, see if she could help, do something other than stand here as aloof as ever. Walking, she looked ahead. She didn't look above her, at the invisible creatures flying there. She didn't look down at the critters scampering on the ground. She looked ahead of her, at the chaos around her. There was no way to escape from it.

Ginny was holding a man's leg together, the bleeding profuse. She helped her, focused and attentive. There was so much anguish. So much pain.

A redheaded body was brought into the room. Ginny stopped what she had been doing. Luna watched, silent, as she went to it. Luna knew what it was. She knew what she felt. It was the same feelings Luna felt when her father died. She kept her distance for awhile, silent. Other men and women were crying over dead friends.

A great burden was placed on Luna's shoulders. She had to do something. She had to help. Her father would have wanted her to. Her mother would have wanted her to. She knew what it was like…they needed someone to comfort them.

But what if they didn't want it? What if they rejected her and told her to go away? What if they refused to listen? Biting her lip, she looked around. There were so many people. So many in pain. So many without anyone to hold them. It didn't matter what they wanted. It didn't matter what they thought. It didn't matter if they listened. She needed to help. They needed her help.

Dennis Creevy sobbed over the body of his brother, ragged and bloody. His face was streaked with tears, his shoulders hunched in sadness.

"It'll be ok," Luna said, wrapping her arms tightly around the younger student.

"No," Dennis sobbed. "No it won't."

"Yes it will. It won't be the same. But it will be ok. You'll wake up tomorrow. Life will go on. You need to live for your brother."

"I…I can't."

"Yes you can. You need to live for him. I know right now it seems impossible. I know that right now, you don't know what it'll be like. But it will be alright."

He didn't reply. The teenager sobbed into her shirt. Luna held him, her own eyes tearing.

"You'll go home to your family," she said softly, rubbing his back. "And tell them he died gloriously." Tears started falling from her eyes. "You'll tell them he is a hero. And everything will be ok."

He continued sobbing. She continued comforting him.

"Why did he have to die?" he said, his voice trembling with uncertainty.

"So that you could live in peace."

Dennis started sobbing harder.

"I didn't want him to. I didn't want him to fight."

"You need to live for him, so he didn't die in vain."

He sniffled and Luna wiped his tears with her shirt.

"There you are," she said.

"Luna?" he sounded shocked. "I…I thought you were…thank you."

"If you ever want to talk, just send me an owl, ok?"

"Alright." He twitched a smile and then gazed at his brother, lying lifeless on a cot. "I can't believe it."

"It'll take time before you do. Some days, I wake up and still think my father is downstairs…but you'll continue on. You're a Gryffindor. You're brave. You'll be fine."

She stood up, leaving Dennis to his grief, and found someone else. And after that, someone else. And someone else after that. Slowly, the Great Hall began to empty. The only people left were Bill and Fleur Weasley, the Longbottoms, and Professor McGonagall.

Luna sat down in the corner, drained. She had spent everything she had in that room, giving everything she owned, sharing everything she knew. Now, she was unsure of what she was going to do. Her home had been destroyed. Her father was dead. The only place she could go was here, Hogwarts. The Ravenclaw tower was still intact. But she wanted to get out of here. She felt like she was someone else. Someone she wasn't at the beginning of the year. She wasn't Luna Lovegood, the airheaded, oblivious girl. She was Luna Lovegood…someone else. Who was she? She didn't know. It scared her that she didn't know. She was a Ravenclaw. She was a Lovegood. She was…she was Luna…or was she?

She didn't know herself anymore.

"Luna," Neville said, his voice finally having settled into a rumbling bass. "I don't suppose you're staying here, are you? I think my gran would have a fit if you did. You ought to come with us."

He offered her a hand, one strengthened by a year of laborious training with the D.A. Luna took it, a meek smile on her face, and all her fears seemed to melt away. It would be alright, his hand seemed to say. It'll be different, but it'll be ok. Life will go on.

She followed Neville home.


End file.
